The energy of anger and the energy of impatience must be very similar; I’ve even wondered if they might even be the same brain chemical.

There have been times in my life when, feeling impatient, I have become angry at someone else for being so slow. For example, there was the deck on my home that went unfinished for about 15 years. By the time I left, I was beyond angry about that deck. My anger did me no good at all—or anyone else, for that matter.

But I learned from that experience. I learned that when I hold a grudge and keep bringing it up, shooting verbal barbs at someone, it seems to hold the other person’s resistance in place. So when my current husband took apart the ceiling fan and left the blades for weeks on the floor, I felt no anger or resentment; instead, I have an understanding that he’ll do it when he’s ready, and my urging is only going to slow him down. Since I don’t want to slow him down, I choose understanding and acceptance instead of impatience. Now, I’m not a saint. If the time frame stretches on indefinitely, I will speak up. But I’ll say it once, in a respectful way, and offer my assistance. I won’t use words as weapons.

I know where I learned impatience, but I’m often not very good about recognizing it. Bottom line is that I do not like to wait. I don’t like lines. I don’t like it when people are late, and I don’t like being late. I don’t like jobs left unfinished. And that probably says a lot about me!

But today I’m simply reflecting on the similarity of feeling between impatience and anger. The first step toward living from positive emotions begins with awareness and acceptance that, if you think other people are your problem, it’s time to look inside.

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