Turn Energy Depleters into Energizers
By Nancy Oelklaus, Ed. D.
What gives you energy to do your work and live your life well? What depletes your energy? I’ve been asking these questions of people over the last nine years.
To answer this question, it’s useful to know that the human system derives energy from four sources:
- Physical (general health, diet, exercise)
- Mental (challenge, learning, intellectual activities like crossword puzzles and Sudoku)
- Spiritual (not religious, but spiritual practice that puts us in contact with something greater than ourselves)
- Emotional
Overwhelmingly, depleters are emotional, and usually they are our negative reaction to someone else’s behavior or situations beyond our control. What people don’t realize is that their negative reaction is within them, not outside of them, and that’s good news—because we have complete control over our own thoughts and feelings. If we truly want to, we can change them. Most people simply don’t know how.
Here’s how.
- Write out what’s bugging you, and include all the details. Leave nothing out, and use strong language.
- Read back over what you’ve written and identify the emotion that is coming through. Here are some examples: jealousy, fear, anger, feeling overwhelmed, being judgmental or rigid. These negative emotions are coming from your ego. The truth is, whatever is happening probably has nothing to do with you; you’re simply choosing to take it personally.
- Make a decision about how you want to feel. Maybe forgiving. Maybe accepting. Maybe safe from ill effects. You choose. Stay in this state of mind until you’re ready to move to a higher state.
- Tear up and destroy what you wrote in #2 above.
- When you’re ready, move to a higher emotional state—like kindness, unconditional love, compassion, peace.
If you practice this process on a regular basis, you’ll find that you gradually spend more and more time in peace. By practicing on a regular basis, I mean every day.
Thus you will turn energy depleters into energizers.
On Saturday, February 27, from 1:00-3:00 at Book People in Austin, Nancy will be working with a group of teachers to rejuvenate. All teachers are welcome to join us. If you would like Nancy to work with your group, email Nancy@HeadtoHeart.com
Once again, you hit the nail on the head. The two overwhelming emotions that I brought with me from childhood were anger and fear. Since I was so introverted, I mostly used anger against myself. I was always drained of energy, and frequently went into depressions that lasted from a few days to over a year. Fear was a biggie. I was very inept in relationships. I still sometimes feel uncomfortable around other people, but I’ve learned to turn that fear into relationship building. When I turn my self-focus onto someone else, they feel more comfortable around me, and we’re more likely to find a common interest to share. It felt so insincere for the longest time (and it was), but after it became habitual, I can honestly say that I enjoy meeting new people now and learning about them, even though it is still a little draining. Thanks again for your insights, as it is so easy to slip back into old ways of thinking and feeling.
Blessings, Claudia