Archive for the ‘change’ Category
Lift Your Voice in 2010
Susan Boyle has inspired millions. A contestant on Britain’s Got Talent, she stood before a vast audience, including three who would judge her, as a middle-aged, frumpy, tousled, unaccomplished woman from a small village. When she announced she would sing, “I Dreamed a Dream,” the audience snickered. Some had their hands over their mouths, trying to muffle an out-loud laugh.
Then came a key question—the kind that unlocks potential. “Why haven’t we heard of you before now?”
Without hesitation and with a steady look in her eyes, she responded, “I never had the opportunity until now. Things are about to change.”
And WOW did things change. It started immediately—when she opened her mouth and lifted her voice.
First the snickers and suppressed laughter stopped. Then mouths opened. Then hearts lifted with the elation of experiencing greatness. Then the crowd, including the judges, were on their feet with applause of adulation and congratulations.
Things changed.
Susan Boyle’s first CD set a record for sales before release. Oprah called. Then Dancing with the Stars. And now she is one—a star. More importantly, she is recognized for the gift she truly is.
No longer frumpy, she’s had a makeover so that the outside looks like the inside—a confident, talented woman who has earned her place.
From the example of Susan Boyle, I’ve learned so much. Just listening to her CD, which I’m doing as I’m writing this piece, strengthens my heart. The song that’s up right now is “Who I Was Born to Be.” The lyrics are, “Though I may not know the answers, I can finally say I’m free. . . I am who I was born to be.”
Susan Boyle decided to appear on Britain’s Got Talent because her deceased mother encouraged her to. Susan Boyle had someone in her corner who believed in her, prayed for her, and gave her encouragement—invisibly strengthening her heart. So this is my first lesson. Who in my circle of relationships needs my encouragement? For 2010 I’ve made a request that daily I will be a gift to someone and that I have the eyes to see it.
A second lesson is how to feel and what to do in the face of derision. Fear that someone might disapprove has often held me back, and I have failed to do what is right for me. In 2010, I promise myself to do what is right for me. To speak up. To stand for myself and not against anyone else. Join me: Lift your voice.
Relief from Struggle with Change by Nancy Oelklaus, Ed. D.
August 6th, 2009
by Nancy
When I left a position several years ago, I worked with a coach to help make the transition for myself and for the organization. When I described how puzzled I was at how some board members were behaving, she said, “They’re angry that you’re leaving.” I was shocked. Now I realize that their anger had more to do with change than with me.
Change challenges us. It shakes us up—and most people don’t like to be shaken up. Change presents us with a set of circumstances out of our control. It causes us to change our routine, our schedule, and maybe even our lifestyle. The bottom line is that when we’re in the midst of change, we’re usually not getting our way, and that’s what makes us mad. Our ability to predict is diminished. We feel uncertain.
When I was a little girl, I had different colored panties for every day of the week—and they were embroidered with the name of each day: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, etc. So every morning I knew exactly what to choose. My mother had hand towels for every day of the week, labeled with the major household task to be completed that day. Monday was WASH CLOTHES. Tuesday was IRON. I don’t remember the others, but every day had its own hand towel, with the major task emblazoned on it.
So is there any wonder that I’m not crazy about change?
Over time, I’ve made peace with the process of change. Through the inner work I’ve done, I’ve learned to be okay, no matter what’s going on around me. My well being is no longer anchored to something outside of me. And I’ve learned that change goes smoothly when I let go of expectations, just say what I truly need to say, and be at ease, no matter what.
The greatest delight has been that change, especially the gut-wrenching, painful variety, usually brings a result that is far better than what I imagined. And the whole truth is that today the quality of my life is fabulous—because of change that was beyond my control.
Turn into the Slide
When the car slips on ice,
Turn into the slide;
Yield to the pull of it,
Foot off the brake.
Fighting and conquering
Are not okay
For a slide. Do it,
And you die, perhaps.
The slide leads you,
Though you didn’t choose,
To a better place.
And when you follow,
You discover freedom—
Safety—surprise—
And warmth—
On ice!
The Skid
Leaning into change is like
Turning into a skid on ice.
It looks treacherous—
Even lethal, perhaps.
But you steer into it,
Feel the car ease,
Stop slipping, and
Begin to glide.
Nancy Oelklaus