Interview for “Journey from Head to Heart” by Nancy Oelklaus Today, Tyler R. Tichelaar of Reader Views is happy to be joined by Nancy Oelklaus, who is here to talk about her new book “Journey from Head to Heart: Living and Working Authentically.” Backed by a 30-year career in education, Nancy Oelklaus is a leader in the fields of organizational development, change, systems thinking, and adult learning. Her national and international experience brings diversity to her work, which is grounded in a knowledge base of the brain and systems. Dr. Oelklaus has written for “The Systems Thinker,” “Leverage,” “The American School Board Journal,” “Leaders of Learners,” “Austin Business Journal, and Austin Woman.” Her leadership profile, "The Power of Love," appears in “Appreciative Leaders: In the Eye of the Beholder,” published by the Taos Institute. Nancy Oelklaus holds the Doctor of Education degree in Educational Administration from Texas A&M University, Commerce. Awards include Vision to Action Award from the Visions of a Better World Foundation, Boston, MA. She is an executive coach in Austin, Texas. Tyler: Welcome, Nancy, and thank you for joining me today. I understand “Journey from Head to Heart” is written for those tired of solving constant problems and not arriving at the destination they desire. What made you feel the need to write such a book?
Two reasons. First, it is my family’s tradition to pass on what we learn. Our experiences can help others only if we talk about them. Secondly, in my own spiritual journey I found pieces that helped along the way, but no comprehensive system that integrated with what I already knew. That is, I read books about neuroscience; I read New Age works; I read religious works; I read leadership books; I recalled my own academic training. But I longed for something that brought all of these different disciplines and fields into harmony—into one whole. That’s my intent in writing this book—to bring a more complete, comprehensive approach into one book so that people find deeper, more lasting help. Tyler: Will you tell us a little bit about your personal background and how it influenced writing “Journey from Head to Heart”?
I love to teach. As I told my daughter once, “I’m in my fourth career. I’ve been through divorce and almost-divorce. I’ve fractured many relationships. I just wish you’d ask me what I learned.” This book is what I learned. My heart’s desire is that it help readers so that they never again experience the pain of damaged relationships. Tyler: Nancy, you talk in “Journey from Head to Heart” about overcoming the ego so the Authentic self can work from the power of the human spirit. Would you clarify for me what you mean by ego and Authentic self?
Ego is formed from a child’s mind trying to make sense of an adult world. Our brains’ most rapid growth is before the age of six. In these years we form patterns—ways of dealing with the world and keeping ourselves safe. Many of these patterns are egocentric and just plain wrong. We learn to please people instead of being true to ourselves; we learn to control others so that we don’t incur their wrath. We draw conclusions about ourselves based on adult situations that we couldn’t possibly understand, and then these beliefs about ourselves control us for the rest of our lives, unless we stop to examine and change them. Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” The movie Groundhog Day is the story of how someone can keep repeating negative experiences for an entire life! But each of us has a soul—a wise counselor who absolutely knows what’s right for us. Some people experience this as a “still, small voice.” I’ve talked to many people who have been guided by this voice, and they are always led to the lives they truly want to lead. Another word for this still, small voice is the Authentic Self, that part of us that connects with God. As one of my clients put it, “Once that “God spot” in my brain came alive, I could see the tiny lights along the path, and I just follow them.”
Tyler: You also have studied the mind, which is why you start the journey from the head. What have you learned about human thought processes that you think are detrimental or favorable for our achieving our desires?
I’ll answer the detrimental part first. What is detrimental is allowing a negative thought about ourselves or others to repeat itself so often in our heads that we mistake it for fact. An example is that I believed I was not a good mother for decades. It’s what I told myself in my mind. Through the grace of my daughter’s love, I have learned very recently that I am a good mother. Thinking I was not did untold damage to me and to my relationships with my children. What I’ve found to be most favorable is thinking about achieving my desires “easily and joyfully.” My heart loves these two words. When I write a goal using these words—and my heart feels them—the goal is accomplished quickly, often beyond my highest hopes. Tyler: You talk in the book about the need to live a conscious life with purpose? Will you expand on this and explain why it is important?
Some people say that our unconscious is controlling us 96% of the time. That is, 96% of the time we are on “automatic pilot.” Many of us are not aware at all of our own thinking. We’re just letting it drive us. We say, “That’s just my personality.” Or we say, “I’m angry because he’s an asshole.” And we stay stuck, repeating the same patterns for an entire life. So an important step is to “hear” the thoughts that are going through our heads and make a decision about whether or not these are thoughts we would choose if we were in our right minds. Love is the strongest force in the universe. I believe we are here to learn to love God, ourselves, and each other. Life becomes more joyful and meaningful when we discover what lies beneath our goals—what is driving us—when we get quiet enough to hear our Authentic Voice. Tyler: I understand in writing the book you integrate logic, reason, emotion, logic, Christianity, science and ancient wisdom. At the same time, the book is written for those wary of New Age philosophies. How does your book stand out from the other spiritual books out there?
Well, I haven’t read all the spiritual books out there, but from those I have read, I would say that my book is a more holistic, inclusive approach that includes tools and processes for making and sustaining personal change. Tyler: Nancy, who do you see as the audience for your book?
Women in their late 30’s or older are the most obvious audience. However, men who are open to spiritual understanding will also enjoy it. Tyler: Nancy, will you tell us a little bit about the other work you do—your teaching, public speaking and coaching background?
I teach these concepts in seminars over a four-month period for small groups of people. I love speaking, especially on the topic The Eye of the Needle: Tool for Difficult Conversations. This tool is the heart of the book, and it’s a good overall introduction to the concepts in the book. Coaching is what really makes my heart sing. Working one-on-one with someone over months or years, I see change. That person’s life improves, and that’s what I’m here for. Most people underestimate the time and effort required for true change to occur. They think because they read the book or heard the speech, they’ve got it. Not true. They have to do the work. Coaching is where they do the work. Tyler: What do you hope will be the result after someone reads “Journey from Head to Heart”?
They decide to start the journey—to become the person they are truly meant to be. Tyler: Thank you for joining me today, Nancy. Before we go, would you tell us a little bit about your website and what additional information may be found there about “Journey from Head to Heart”?
(Tyler, I’m answering this question from what is about to be, not what is today.) My website, www.HeadtoHeart.info contains a preview of the book that accurately conveys its intent and value for readers. Also, you can hear me read a sample chapter or read chapter 1 for yourself. There’s a link where you can order the book, as well as 3 related CD’s. I especially love the media of CD’s because people can play them in their cars on their way to work and slowly absorb this powerful knowledge. [Back to Top] |
 | 214 PP. LOVING HEALING PRESS
“Journey from Head to Heart, Living and Working Authentically” takes the reader on just such a journey. The author demonstrates her courage, honesty, and integrity beginning with the first two sentences of the Preface. This same refreshing openness continues throughout the book, eliciting these same traits from the reader, and thus the reader is opened up to the possibility of a more authentic way of being as one proceeds through the chapters. This book is anything but a stuffy “How To” book. It is simple—easy to access, relate to, and is filled with stories that “grab the reader” because they are so illustrative of the kinds of problems we all face. Then to read how such negative situations and environments have been radically changed by using the approaches given in this book is like having “scales fall off one’s eyes.” The reader sees “a better world is available” to those who are courageous enough to face themselves and acquire different skills and responses.
There also is the recognition that here is a trustworthy guide who has squarely faced herself and issues in her own life, coming out the other side with integrity and wholeness, as well as valuable skills for living and working authentically. The author’s journey from dealing logically in interpersonal and business relationships, to that of expressing one’s personal truth from the heart and understanding others from that same deep place, has a transformative effect not only between individuals, but can also transform the entire environment of the work place. “Journey From Head to Heart” is profound, challenging our assumptions about what can and cannot be changed; and addresses not just interpersonal relationships, but changing corporate cultures in ways that call forth the best in employers and employees, producing productive, healthy, and happy members in the work place.
The book is also profound not only in its insights and understanding, but also has a solid basis for its approaches based on the latest brain-body research which the author presents in simple terms. For those who really want to change and learn new skills and approaches in interpersonal relationships, the workbook sections at the end of the chapters provide an in depth look at one’s self—where one was, where one is and how to set and get to the goal of authentic living and working. Often this self-knowledge uncovered is revelatory not only of one’s capacities but also one’s limitations and less than stellar motivations. Many people turn to a reliance on a higher power at this point. The author is adept at pulling from the Christian tradition as well as other traditions relevant insights that facilitate this process of developing the less ego-dominated higher-self to fulfillment. For the aesthetic-minded the many poems written by the author throughout the book add a deeper meditative layer to the prose. This book deserves a thorough reading and a place on one’s bookshelf. It definitely should appeal to a wide audience. Virtually anyone who wishes to improve interpersonal relationships and/or the emotional environment of the work place would find this a valuable resource to which they would turn to again and again. It would be especially useful for parents, educators, CEO’s, business managers, employers, employees, people who have addictions or come from families with addictions, and people who are on a spiritual journey. This book works on many levels and is an enjoyable read due to its author’s sense of humor which is interspersed throughout its more serious subject matter. Reviewed by Judith K. Johnson, MSE,MA [Back to Top] |
